i am in pangkor now!!!!

hi, long time didnt blog dy~

becoz i busy for my study and the preparation for pangkor,

time fly so fast,

now i am in pangkor~

here is really a nice place,

food is ok here!

weather is abit hot....

but is ok for me now..

i still remember the 1st day i start to cum here...

3 of us are crying, elaine is the one who hug her mom and cry...

suki is the one who cry when the bus is start going...

and i am crying when i saw my dear send me message and my tears cum out...

after tat we was in the bus for 5 hour.... den we reach lumut jeti on 1.45...

but the boat will gone at 2pm... so we run to the office like the chicken no head.....

and FINALLY we REACH!!! hahaha

but the weather is so hot.... OMG

den we go kafeteria to eat...

on the first day i cannot sleep.....

and i cry after my dear call me...

and i having back pain after wake up......

and we start work.....

on the 2nd day....

we wake up for breakfast...

is fried rice... haha...

den we go estate for orientation...

the HOD is really leng zai and treat us very good...

and at night i miss home again~

i cry again....lolx.... haha...

i am really a home sick ppl~haiz~

~penny chooi~

心好痛好痛~

你说~

你最近变实际了~因为你有行动了~

但是你怕你冷落我~

结果你说~是应该的~

听到这句话~我的心就像被撕了那么痛~

我忍住~但是~对不起~

我做不到~我哭了~

事实是~我知道~最近你都在忙~

你冷落我~我不怪你~真的没有怪~

因为我一直以为你知道我在等你~但是~你却说是应该的~

我担心的事情~终于发生了~你变现实了~变可怕了~

我在你心里~也不重要了~

你的生活是为了钱~

我知道你穷~但是~我从来没有闲过~

我只要一个真心的你~

*安利~

请你还我以前的黄正杰！！！！！

~penny chooi~

感觉~不一样了~

最近有种奇怪的感觉一直围绕着我~

我好像不是我了~

有种不认得自己了的感觉~

不只是我~

身边所有人都好像变了~

以前疼我的， 现在不再理我了~

该陪我的, 也好像疏远我了~

而我自己~

想说的话~不能说~

甚至把一堆想表达的话~藏在心理~

因为~我不敢再表达出来~

我怕~我怕同一件事情~发生在我身上~

我真的会承受不了~

*难道~想找个可以被信任~可以听我诉苦~帮我保守秘密~陪我哭~陪我笑~懂得安慰我~照顾我~明白我~了解我~懂得分辨我是在玩笑或认真的人~真的有那么难吗？？？？

~penny chooi~

emo-ing

haiz~ today i feel really unhappy~

i cant feel any happiness today~

maybe i am emo-ing about yesterday?

yes~ yesterday i really feel so unhappy~

i feel sad because of someone~

i feel disappointed

~that's all?

nope~

because of him again?

en~

haiz~

i feel sad~

because everytime when i need him den he is the only one who buzying smt or playing game~

haiz~wat can i do now?

i am emo-ing now~ but no someone can talk to me~

i be alone~

i feel wanna cry now~

can i hv ur shoulder?

i feeling so sad now~

i need u~

~penny chooi~

很累

最近总有着一种很累的感觉~

对生活累~

对某某人累~

对吵架累~

对问题了~

对不了解而累~

对学习累~

对欺负累~

对烦恼累~

对压力累~

对心情累~

对所有所有的事情都很累~

我讨厌不了解我的人！

讨厌背叛我的人！
讨厌自以为事的人！

讨厌幼稚的人！

讨厌不懂装懂的人！

讨厌爱装的人！

讨厌虚伪的人！

讨厌骗我的人！

讨厌孤单的感觉！

没有人可以了解我~

没有人明白我~

我永远是一个人~

我今天

真的超不爽！！！不开心！！！超累！！！心超痛！！！超烦！！！

~penny~

烦死人啦~

DIAM啦~ 从我一回家你就一直吵，一直吵~不累啊？
你知不知道我上课很累~ 回到家还要听你烦~ 我会崩溃~你可以体谅一下我吗？
或许你不知道什么是体谅吧~
从小到大~你就只会把我当工人~就只会叫我做这个那个的~从来没有问我累不累~
你永远只会看我的错~那我的好呢？我的对呢？谁知道？
就连我的同学都可以知道我很能干~但你呢？ 你懂吗？ 18年了？
妈~谢谢你看我不起~我一定会成功给你看的~让你知道~我比你的儿子值得你去疼爱~
谢谢你重男轻女~我一定会成功给你看~你等着！！！！！！


~penny chooi~

只想要有一个真心听我诉苦~为我保守秘密的朋友~有那么难吗？唉~心痛+失望~

haiz~ sorry~ i still not a happy girl now~ i am moody today~
i feel so unhappy~ i feel so disappointed~
i am not angry with u~
u know? i trust u in 100% but~ u broke our promise~
do u know the effect after u telling out~
i feeling sorry to telling u my secret~ i think is my fault~
i should not telling u my secret~ i should keep it in my self~
ya~ is my own fault~
i wont hate u~ wont angry u~
u are still my best fren~ we still can play together~ study together~


~penny chooi~